No More Playing Nice With Connie

No More Playing Nice with Connie

The Covert Narcissist and Coworker

The Connie's, the Covert Narcissists, can be the absolute worst! Nothing will make an Empaths blood boil quite like witnessing injustice. In order to manipulate love and compassion like that, ya gotta be a special kinda twisted. To play a weak and injured soul in order to make other's open up their hearts and become vulnerable to your attacks? Ya really gotta not give a shit about other human beings.

Look we usually aren't ones to be violent, but the Covert Narcissist will make us wanna clock somebody.

We can feel powerless and enraged. Being pulled into the covert narcissist's sob stories only to realize their malignant intent can be especially painful because it can feel like they've caused our own hearts to betray us.

If you've snapped on a Connie type of person, it gets messy don't it? They portray some serious injustice in the world and it rattles us like no other. We just wanna make the truth known and set the record straight once and for all...

But Narcissists will always make sure they set the game board in their favor way before we make a move.

Connie's entire life is devoted to setting up the game board. She studies people and decides what she can get from them and where it's best to place them. She builds fast and deep relationships so she can quickly find vulnerabilities and weak points to attack so she can build her defense strategy long before there's any signs of retaliation.

It's vital that we realize this isn't a game that can be won. It's just an exhausting web of ulterior motives and malicious intent.

But the slimy smile painted over the hateful intentions of the Covert Narcissist can give us something really wonderful!

It can enrage us to the point that we break free from our own people pleasing and accommodating molds! We can learn that it's far easier to trust in the world when we trust ourselves first. We can know that some people are just full of absolute shit without shaming ourselves for seeing through their sweet smiles and sob stories.

No more playing nice! No more smiling and nodding agreeably as everyone around us sighs, "Poor Connie..." Nope! We aren't wise for nothin. We have HAD it with this bullshit! We don't care how crazy or paranoid we may look, the truth is coming out and we really don't give a damn how messy it gets!

Believe me...I've blessed out many a Connie in my life. Did it feel good? Oh yes. But did it accomplish much in resolving anything? Not exactly. But it did teach me over and over to trust myself first and stop giving others the benefit of the doubt to the point of abandoning my own intuition.

Learning to stand in our power, use our voice, and trust in our own wisdom can be messy. We gotta get our sea legs and start putting our own character first one way or another.

Sometimes people are gonna attack us for trusting our gut, but that's often what we need to get comfortable with. We can no longer afford to give a damn how we appear to others, or if people will stop thinking we're nice and won't want to be friends with us anymore for not playing along like everyone else.

We start caring more about truth than we do our own image- and that's pretty powerful my friend! Being nice and being kind are not the same thing. Nice accommodates the opinions of others, kind respects it from a place of compassion and goes about its own business.

The Covert Narcissist can actually teach us that a compassionate heart and truthful spirit doesn't mean we are meant to be docile and nice and quiet and submissive and blah blah blah... That is just a role we've been taught to play. A false face of righteousness and humility that takes no walk to match the talk.

Simply by disagreeing with the masses, by walking our own way and choosing to honor our own wisdom, we will shine a light for others to see they too can do the same. Now whether they will or won't is beyond our control, but that is one of the biggest lessons for us to learn. To let go. To set ourselves free and live in our own light without worrying about the opinions others have of us.

"Poor Connie..." is an example of the types of messages used to shame us back into sticking with our nice personas rather than trusting our intuition. "But what about me?" the narcissist says, "What about my pain?"

Is it mean or hateful for us to avoid someone or something that smells of complete bullshit?  Absolutely not. But as a society, are we often taught that it is heartless to act that way, to not jump in and be the good samaritan? Unfortunately, yes. Many of us are simply taught that self-sacrifice is what makes us good and judging others is what makes us bad, and so we will often ignore our divine discernment and name it judgement, in order to try and do what's right.

The opinions of the majority are largely based off of personas and words, not true character and intuition. But this is changing, and we are meant to shine light on this by simply trusting our wisdom to turn away from what we're told to believe and face what we know. Have you ever been in a large crowd and one person turned to face another direction? Then suddenly one by one more and more people turned to see what they were looking at? In the simplest way, this is what we're here to do. Face new directions and allow others to become curious enough to turn and face new directions as well.

How many praised humanitarians and worshipped celebrities have suddenly had their true colors come into view in the last couple years, right? The Covert Narcissists, the Connies of the world, may have you feeling enraged and outnumbered at times, but let that fire in you burn hot enough to break you out of your old mold!

How many serial killers are notorious for using wheelchairs, or adopting a helpless wounded role in order to lure their victims? If malicious people showed their true nature from the start, no one would go near them. This is an uncomfortable truth, but it's one we've got to recognize and trust. You are meant to trust your knowing.

You aren't here to be nice. You aren't here to be accommodating and agreeable. The Covert Narcissist will sicken you right out of that! You let them play the nice guy role til they're blue in the face. You go speak compassionate truth! That's where real love lives.