A Come To Jesus With Raj

A come to Jesus with Raj

The Spiritual Narcissist

What's so interesting with religious and spiritual settings, is how well our brains have been trained to perceive certain clothing and callings as omitting room for human error.

Even a visible clergy collar on a priest can change our perception of someone within seconds. "Oh that's a man of God! Never mind, they're good."

Dress and presentation make a huge impact on our brains. If someone in a lab coat give us advice, even if they don't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed? We're probably gonna take them more seriously than listen to the friend or relative who tried to save us money when they experienced and healed our exact same symptoms with the exact same doctor last month. It's just how we're taught to safely navigate the world from a very young age.

We're taught to listen to someone above us. Someone who really knows. And we're taught to spot who that is by their profession and dress.

As kids, we're told to find a police officer if we're in danger. To listen to adults and those in authority to learn the rules. Our schoolteachers? Principal? Softball coach? Safe. Strangers? Not safe.

Yet the majority of sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows. 80% of women reporting sexual assaults knew their attacker.

We may believe we've outgrown our childhood safety brain as adults, but how much of our childhood strategies and views of safety might we still actually be following? We may ignore our own feelings and act polite and agreeable rather than risk causing a scene and making trouble. We may discredit and shame ourselves and our own intuition because the childhood mind says, "But that can't be! This person is safe! You came to them for knowledge and insight, don't you want them to help you? You don't wanna get in trouble do?"

People like ol' Raj rely on that childhood safety system. They appoint themselves in the holiest of callings and the safest of places so they can gain anonymity from the immediate red flags their actions would raise in saaaay.... a local bar.

A man at a bar puts his arm around you and tells you that he feels drawn to you, that you need to give him your number cause he's been looking for someone like you his whole life, and you may quickly motion for a bouncer to head in your direction as you kick him in the shins.

But... put that same man in a flowing white blouse, some linen pants, sandals and mala beads in a healing center saying, "My soul recognizes yours from lifetimes ago. I feel we have karma to heal together, I'd be honored to meet with you privately..." and the reaction may not be the same at all.

Although real unpleasant at times, our ability to feel anxiety, uneasiness and discomfort is vital! They have to be loud sometimes in order to cut through the bullshit and old accommodating polite belief systems.

They may feel like they're showing up to make us feel awkward or be the odd man out once again, but they are often screaming so loud because we may be the only ones paying attention to what's really happening in a room full of people.

Our intuition has to be louder than our need to fit in and be accepted in order to save our lil butts sometimes!

Now what's real unfortunate with the Raj situation, is that removing shame and stigma from sexual energy truly does revolutionize the way we create and show up in the world! When this energy is developed and pulled upward into the heart, we open to love in a powerful way.

The problem is, Raj is not teaching from a place where he is capable of connecting from that place at all, and it's palpable. Love doesn't feel slimy and pushy. He's just got the gaslighting and persuasion down pat.

Many times when it comes to Narcissists, people will experience the same patterns over and over. It's always about money, sex, and power.

So, when the chakras develop, they kinda build on top of one another and progress from what they learned and developed in the previous stage. So, if something is lacking or unsupported in an area prior, then it may likely manifest as distortion and imbalance in the development of the following chakra center. 

The first chakra or root chakra develops from birth to age two. This is where stability and consistency in the home environment instills a feeling of safety and trust in the world.

The second chakra or sacral chakra develops from ages two to three as we explore the world around us and begin to develop and explore our creativity and appreciate our bodies for what they allow us to experience. If safety and trust is developed in the first chakra, then we will feel safe to explore our creativity and expression through our own bodies.

The third chakra or solar plexus develops from ages four to five. This is where our self-esteem and personal power comes into play. We see how our emotions and self-expression affect those around us. We also see if our emotions and self-expression are received and validated by our caretakers, or if they are criticized and invalidated.

So from Raj's early experiences of divorce as a child and quickly being put into the role of little man of the house rather than being allowed to just be a kid, we can already see where development could have gotten thrown off.

Where he lacked these developments of safety, self-love, creativity, and self-esteem, he began to look outward to attain them. It's important to note too that when these centers are underdeveloped, we can picture them as having holes. So when someone learns to reach out and take from others what it is they're lacking rather than healing and developing these things in themselves? It's never enough. It never sticks. They're constantly seeking more and it will never stop.

Because of his distorted root chakra, he may have learned to demand more and more money to create a sense of stability and safety. His distorted sacral chakra may cause him to hold views of shame and disgust for the body and only feel safe expressing himself by projecting that shame and disgust on someone else during sex. He may seek out power by plugging into other's solar plexus areas trying to fill his own empty well. When others become submissive to him, he feels stronger and stronger.

This is where nausea, indigestion, malabsorption and so many gut issues come into play when experiencing these connections. These individuals are tapping into this area in an attempt to fulfill their own lack of personal power and confidence. When we are unbalanced as Empaths, we may sense and pour from this area in attempts to help others feel safe and in their power by giving away our own. This is why you may go into a conversation with a Narcissist feeling really great about yourself and walk away feeling absolutely deflated self-critical.

Because Raj is constantly taking from others in an attempt to fill spaces in himself, this also means he is unable to connect through the heart space.

Just like any other relationship, it's no different when it comes to the relationship with ourselves'- In order to build love for ourselves we must feel safe, we must trust ourselves, and we must feel welcome to express and be ourselves in our own power. This is what moves us into the heart.

Because as Empaths we often live from the opposite direction, giving giving giving in order to fill the empty spaces we see in others, our pouring hearts can be extremely visible to others. That is because we are engrained with this love, but we haven't learned yet to hold it for ourselves in order to let it grow.

Someone like Raj may quickly see in us what it is they're lacking, but because they don't have the ability to actually connect at that heart level, they connect the only ways they know how.

Money. Sex. Power.

We have what they don't. The heart. This is why many Narcissists will do anything to use us as their sheep's clothing to hide in. They rely on enablers and good souls to surround them so they can appear to have an inner light while they're only standing in other's.

So in that sense... we really are the person they've been looking for their entire lives. We really do make them finally feel great about themselves... They really are that drawn to us. They're in fact telling the truth from their side of the story, which is from a completely distorted and selfish place.

So you see how incredibly vital it is for us to trust what we feel and not just what's said or shown? It ain't black and white at all. Even if the words make sense, our highest wisdom and intelligence speaks through our hearts, and it knows when truth and love has been severely distorted. It tastes the fake sweetener. It won't accept it, and we'll feel ourselves shut down in that area the more we ignore it. We'll find our hearts feeling exhausted and betrayed, but with any luck, it will finally bring us home to ourselves, so we can channel that love we are engrained with to transform our lives and be of service rather than sacrificing it to others.

So now let's get down to it. Let's get into how we can begin feeling compassion for ourselves and understanding the effects of our earliest childhood experiences on our own development and acceptance of our sensitivities.