Chapter 4- Homework

A Lil More Homework-

Now. This next homework assignment is gonna be more of an ongoing process, so just revisit it as often as you want, and use it as a tool to help facilitate your own healing and empowerment.

If you'd like to write them down or simply address them mentally, I want you to think about the internal pains, self-criticisms and beliefs that you've noticed throughout your life. I'd like you to pick out one in particular, and imagine it being represented and expressed by a small child. 

I'd like to take you through a meditation I've created so you can become familiar with it and hopefully use it to bring up these self-enslaving beliefs and pains in yourself and allow them to be understood and transformed.

I would suggest listening to the meditation once, and then doing it on your own.

Get into a seated position on the couch or a large cushion, whichever is fine so long as you're comfortable and feel supported and warm.

With eyes closed, take at least ten good deep slow breathes. In through the nose so the belly expands and exhaling out through the nose slowly and gently pushing out the last of the air. Imagine these breathes are sweeping out stagnant energy and opening a clear bright space in yourself to allow movement, fresh air, and renewal. 

As you breathe deeply into your belly, I want you to think about the pain or belief you picked for today and go to a room within your abdomen where you can sit comfortably just as you are right now. Give yourself some time to get comfortable in this room and take in your surroundings. When you feel safe in this space, invite the child to come in and sit across from you.

If they are silent with their head hung low, they may need some assurance they're allowed to speak. Allow them to show up just as they are. Allow them to cry. Allow them to scream, wail, flail and kick as much as they want. Simply listen and be present with them. When they seem to quiet down, let them know you're listening and ask what it is they're feeling.

Again, allow them to express themselves as long or short, loud or quiet as they please.

Once they've expressed what it is they feel, invite them to elaborate. Ask them why they think that is. Where did they hear this from? Where did they learn this from? Why do they feel this way or believe this is true?

Do not try and correct the child or argue why their feelings aren't completely valid, simply listen and allow yourself to feel compassion for their experience. You are their safe space to be heard and find their voice. Work with them to find the source of this feeling or belief about themselves and the world by putting aside your adult reasoning skills. Simply allow yourself to be curious and ask more and more questions inviting the child to speak.

Allow yourself to see where the child experienced pain that brought them to a conclusion, that then became a belief, that then became a truth, that then became repeated patterns to solidify this belief, that then became their experience and role in the world.

As you listen and honor their voice, you may see them growing in size or aging before your eyes. Their posture may straighten as they sit taller and hold eye contact with you. This is a wonderful sign! This means they feel safe to let go and grow, which means you are growing. Along with this observation you may feel a physical shift internally as these aspects within yourself begin breathing and growing again.

Once it appears the child feels validated and at ease, you can talk to them sweetly or even wrap your arms around them. Thank them for sharing such vulnerable emotion with you and invite them to take in a deep breath and release a long exhale with you as you both let it go and invite light into the room.

You've now opened a new line of communication with this aspect of yourself and may have some comforting statements that come through to be shared with the child. You may rock them back and forth reminding them they're safe and loved. You may assure them you've seen the future and it doesn't end the way they feared. You may begin laughing or crying. Just allow yourself to share with them whatever is coming through.

Now you may thank them and say your goodbyes, standing up from your seated position or you may naturally transition out of this meditation after feeling that the child has now joined you and is no longer separated or abandoned from you. Whichever feels good at this time is perfect.

Invite yourself to open your eyes and continue breathing deeply.

Here's a few things to take note of for further investigation-

1. What did the room in your belly look and feel like, when you first entered? 

2. What did the room look and feel like as you brought your meeting to a close?

3. What were the physical characteristics and temperament of the child, and what was your reaction to their expression? 

4. After listening to them tell the full story, did your view of the child change?

Now let's look at how many answers you've got inside you!

Your answer to number one will tell you how you feel about being present in your body and how comfortable you are sitting within your own power center. Whether it was clean and pristine and felt warm and inviting, or whether it felt unknown, and you felt like a stranger in your own home. 

Your answer to number two will show you how honoring your emotions and being at home in every part of yourself invites possibility and change.

Your answer to number three will show you to what extent you feel compassion for your own pain. 

Your answer to number four will show you how your self-beliefs and wounds are healing by no longer trying to correct them but hear and understand them so that compassion can find its way in to let them grow and transform into wisdom!