I would bet that every single one of us has had multiple experiences communicating with the nonphysical, it's just whether we've been unaware or unaccepting of it at the time.

Most of us also have mixed feelings around speaking with spirits or anything nonphysical.

We're afraid of it but drawn to it.


We want to experience it so bad but when we do we demand further proof of critique the way it was delivered.


We may call spirit communication bad or evil but secretly pray to get some kind of sign from Grandma Bertha or wonder about that one dream we had when our childhood pet came back to visit and it felt realer than real.

Picture a time you had a feeling or were pretty sure you were hearing from someone nonphysical.

  1. How quickly did you believe what you were sensing?

  2. Did your expression look confused or skeptical as you tuned in?

  3. Did you receive the images/feelings/smells/ and think, "For real though...?"

  4. Did you brush it off as nothing?

  5. Did you ask them to prove themselves to you in some way?

  6. Did you ask for communication but immediately change your mind as soon as they answered and said,”Nononono nevermind nevermind fuck off please.” ?

These are very normal reactions to experiences of communicating with the nonphysical because we're spanning a great distance, not just between layers of existence, but across the comfort zones within our own minds.

We’re tiptoeing to the edges of our understanding of reality and putting one foot out of bounds and leaning into faith just long enough for new ground to appear beneath our feet.

So understandably we can all be a lil wishy washy with stretching our understandings of reality and I think remembering this can help us take things less personal with one another as living breathing people.

We're still spirits, we just happen to be a little more...dense. In more ways than one at times.

And as we grow and evolve, we will cross over thresholds many many times in one lifetime and the ways we communicate, connect, and appear can change drastically.

The photo above was taken at an old favorite town haunt almost twenty years ago (Hold on, I think I almost deceased from doing the math on that…)

Jo and me have been gabbin’ and gossipin like this ever since.

She’s been on the phone with me when I had banging on my walls.

When I’ve doubted myself she’s been my person to say, “Girl you better cut that shit out!”

She gave me permission to share this story so lets send her a lil extra love and thank you!!!

A little over two years ago she lost her fiancé unexpectedly.

For three days straight pretty much from the time I made my morning coffee until her and I texted each other goodnight, I sent her message after message after message from her Billy.

He confirmed over and over how many times she wondered if she'd felt him or known he was near but understandably she was in such grief she couldn't fully believe it, but he never wavered.

He kept telling me to tell her to put on her red lipstick. Be as mad at him as she wanted, he can take it.

He just kept talkin’. Sharing inside jokes and picking on her, throwing playful boxing jabs and fluffing his beard and strutting to make her laugh just like he would on any other day.

Around lunch time on the third day I saw him leaning over her smelling her hair as she sat on the couch. He kept saying with a grin, "Tell her she smells better today" picking on her for not showering in her depression.

I argued with him, "Billy I don't think she's showered..."

But again he leaned down and smelled her hair and assured me, "Naaaah she's definitely smelling a lot better today. Tell her."

He showed me a green bottle of body spray with fruits and flowers on the label.

I texted her and said, "Alright look, I personally don't think you've bathed yet and that is completely understandable, but he's insisting I tell you you're smelling a lot better today. He keeps sniffing your hair."

She hadn't showered, but she had doused herself in body spray so she could go to the bank with her mom that morning.

I asked if it was by chance a green bottle and she said yes.

For some reason...after 48hrs of constant communication, that was when I was like, "Wow... Ok something’s really happening here…this isn’t just a fluke."


Even though I don’t feel drawn to study or practice mediumship in particular, it has been such an incredible gift, not only to bring someone I love comfort and assurance that they’re not imagining the love and presence they feel, but it’s helped me understand and stretch my own perspective on connection and communication in general.

In just those three days I was able to observe how the experiences were just as present for Jo, but it’s nearly impossible to let something we want that badly in, to truly believe it when we’re shrouded in such heavy blankets of pain and despair.

Maybe this is why so often it's hardest to read the people closest to us or for our loved ones to reach us directly.

The pain is too great, the need is too strong.

The path of least resistance is often easiest.

Because I was in a more neutral place and was just playful enough to loosen my grip, I was able to listen and acknowledge what Billy had to share.

I thought about how many times I'd felt personally discredited, unseen, or banished by others in my day to day life and thought..."Well, now I see it with even more clarity. Those people were in a lot of fear, a lot of pain... It really wasn't about me in particular. I just happened to be the voice trying to get through those thick blankets at the time."

I also can look back and see that no matter how many hours the three of us spoke as if we were on a group text thread...how many times Jo said, “Wait…that’s really him!” …almost every single message I sent her I was still skeptical. Having fun with it but still side eyeing Billy like, "Okaaaaay...if you say so...but this just seems too easy…I still think I’m making it up but I’ll humor you…"


We do the same with one another more than we think.

And we can unfortunately and inaccurately recognize the reactions of fear, confusion, or skepticism in others and rather than see these reactions simply as signs of the person hitting walls within their own mind we think,

“Oh God not again-”

When we cross boundaries in attempts to try and get through to someone, even with the best of intentions? It doesn’t tend to go well.

We may start out trying to assure someone they’re not alone or that we love them but furfaksake they’re just not getting it.

And the harder we try to be heard and seen by someone in fear? The further they’ll crawl under the blankets and rebuke us from their presence.