Lesson 2: Don't Go Changin'

Don’t go throwing a sheet over your face to make yourself visible.

Many of us aren’t used to be being seen clearly or understood unless we’re willing to hide what makes us— us.

We slow it down, we quiet it down, we turn it down, until we’re more palatable.

But this only breeds resentment, sadness, and shriveling worth in ourselves.

We’re not being honest with others and we’re definitely not doing ourselves any favors.

We end up speaking and communicating like someone else completely just to try and get through.

I picture us speaking with ghosts through spirit boxes and boards, getting one word answers, praising them for their efforts with the most patronizing tone while the spirit on the other side is shaking their head like,

“Oh for God sake, I was a poet laureate…”

We live in a time where it’s become unbearable to let answers and truth unfold and grow with time and experience.

Why would we do that when we can Google the facts right now!?

It’s become normal for people to speak from an extreme belief before even thinking about listening and letting things sink in for a bit.

There’s a general tone of-

MAKE me believe you.

MAKE me hear you.

MAKE me see you.

MAKE me understand.

MAKE me care.

And even more frightening… if we don’t agree to “make” anyone anything… we’re told we’re not doing enough. We’re expecting too much work on their part to think and inquire on their own.

Every great listener around the globe from the beginning of time has thought or said with the most exhausted expression on their face,

“If you truly wanted to know, you could have…I don’t know… asked?”

And that’s where we’re running into more trouble right now.

Human beings, not being seperate from nature, are ever evolving and growing. We are nuance on legs forever trying to decipher where we exist and what we believe between extremes.

This is where our relationship with technology gets tricky.

It gives us every answer and quick reply we seek in order to feel safe…but computers are not nuanced.

They’re built on binary coding.

They’re built to say this or that, not this and that. Not sometimes this, not always that.

So oddly, technology feels safe for many people because it removes nuance and vulnerability.

It gives the illusion of removing all the unknowns and giving us definitive answers.

It also quickly removes the space for wonder, for critical thinking, for imagination, for truly listening and being open to change of perspective without it feeling catastrophic to the identity itself— which is what good listening really is.

Trusting the far superior intelligence of our own hearts is often seen as antiquated.

Why would we do that when any answer we could ever want is at our fingertips?

Why would we listen to someone’s experience when we can cut to the chase and ask an expert in our pocket?

What’s so fantastic about the unseen world is that it lies between extremes. It humbles us. It baffles the most expert experts and surprises the harshest skeptics.

“Intellectualism is a common cover-up for fear of direct experience.”

-Carl Jung

The great divide I see happening is not so much between good and evil, but fear and love.

When our hearts are open? When we prioritize peace and connection? We are tapped into our intelligence. We’re ready to learn. We’re paying attention. Everything is constantly revealing patterns, synchronicity, winks from the unseen!

Life itself, even it’s most painful moments, becomes a rich experience we hold an unconditional gratitude for.

But technology makes it easy to fools ourselves into thinking we’re passed needing to feel things and stretch ourselves through presence.

Why experience the growing pains and go through it first hand when we can just youtube it and name ourselves an expert?

This is just fear that has found a new pacifier to comfort itself.

This causes the distance between us as human beings to grow wider and wider.

As many of us open to feel and hear and see more, growing from connection with others and presence in life, there are also people thrilled to curl up under their fear and say, “Thank God I don’t have to go out there anymore.”

We are not living in the same worlds.

We are not experiencing the same things no matter how close we’re standing to one another.


When we ourselves grow into different wave lengths we can literally be at a different frequency and no longer be understood or seen clearly by people we used to be able to speak with.


Let them be.

It's just not a good connection is all.

Ghost em.

Drop it.

Walk away.

Let them interpret it as they wish.

The more you try to explain the more they may actually say, "BE GONE! You’re not making any sense! Can't you see you're frightening me and making my life a living hell!?"

If they ask you to prove it, to make them understand, they're also gonna try and debunk you so is that really worth the damage it does to our own worth and energy?

I made a reading board yeaaaaars ago.

I painted it.

Resined it.

It was beautiful!

Then I got out my pendulum and it started circling over letters at a glacial pace and I heard, "Honey, it's gonna take you thirty minutes to get on that board what you're hearing right now."

Using that board made me doubt myself and dumb myself down in that moment simply because I wanted the communication to be more tangible than rely on my own knowing.

Countless tools can be helpful, but they can quickly become crippling and corrosive if we begin relying on them before trusting ourselves.

This is also what happens when we focus our time and energy on proving ourselves to people and making ourselves more tangible to them.

Take their reaction to us a representation of our worth and validity?

Spend too much time trying to make ourselves clear to them?

Our spirit starts shrinking.

We throw a sheet over ourselves in order to finally be visible to them but it never feels like a win.


This is what many of us have felt over and over.

It's important to let people meet us where they're willing and able, but to remember it doesn't necessarily make them a terrible hateful person when they can’t.

When we try to force it? Things get dicey for everyone.

Any of us catching glimpses of something outside our normal reality will experience a myriad of emotions and internal defenses arise.

It’s not personal, it’s just not their language. Not in their realm of reality.

Keep it movin’.

We will forever be the fastest most intelligent and rapidly growing technology out there if we can trust our emotional intelligence.

Humanity has yet to understand the actual intelligence in our emotions and what our hearts are really capable of.

I have a feeling the emptiness of technology we’ll compoundingly feel in years to come will actually help catapult a lot of people from the fear and discomfort of trusting the hearts intelligence into finally going, "Ok I can't live like this anymore, I'll try anything."

We’re already seeing this wave building as depression and loneliness grow at a rapid pace.





So the reason people who don't believe or wanna see mystical stuff don't ...is cause they ain't open to it so it's not even in their wheelhouse to register as a language.

It’s just a mesquito to be swatted away, just noise.

I may hear a foreign language being spoken across a restaurant and be able to decipher vowels and consonants, but nothing beyond that, where as another person overhearing it who actually knows the language gasps and laughs because they hear what’s actually being said.

That's why some of us see synchronicity and patterns and support everywhere, while others think our recognizing these things means we’re living in a fantasy world.

The unseen speaks in metaphor and music that can only be recognized, understood, and received through the heart.

If we’re only experiencing through the mind, through our survival centers? The world becomes flat, seemingly predictable, and far less vibrant.

We only hear noise and chatter, no poetry no connection no music.

Let’s look at some definitions to really anchor into this.

Intelligence- The ability to learn from experience, adapt to new situations, and apply knowledge to solve problems.

Emotional Intelligence- the ability to recognize, accept, and express ones own emotions and the emotions of others.

Artistic Intelligence- the ability to perceive, interpret, and express both the mental and emotional complexities of the human experience into things perceived through mulitiple senses.

Moral Intelligence- the ability to discern right from wrong and to act accordingly with integrity, empathy, and accountability.

Intelligence requires audacity, nuance, and malleability.

Intelligence requires the gumption and humility to say, “I know I could take someone else’s word for it and not have to be vulnerable, but I don’t wanna miss out on the experience for myself. Lemme feel into this, lemme tune into my own senses so I can gather as much as possible and get the opportunity to learn and grow. I’m brave enough to be playful, to release control and see how things look on the other side of this.”

I don’t think it’s any mistake that so many of us have to grow up in families and repeatedly face people who just will not hear us or even acknowledge our existence.

It’s kinda like the baseball coach throwing the ball at you until you stop being afraid of it and get in the game.